divorce and custody dispute involving dueling restraining orders.

McKinsey, the head engineer of games player experience for The New York Times, filed for divorce in December after 14 years of marriage. The couple was living apart, and his wife held sole legal and physical custody of their three children.

Court filings reveal a history of domestic violence allegations between the couple. McKinsey's wife was granted a temporary restraining order in October 2025. McKinsey filed for a restraining order two months later, a week before his wife's order was set to expire.

In his filing, McKinsey alleged his wife abused him physically and emotionally on a weekly basis and mistreated their children.

 I truly believe that she would hurt or even kill them if she believed there was any possibility of me having the children in my custody and care,  McKinsey wrote in his declaration.

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McKinsey, who was a transgender man, also detailed past conflict with his in-laws. He accused Chen in 2023 of using homophobic slurs against his son and targeting him with the same language when he intervened. He also alleged Zhang punched him in the chest in 2010 while he was recovering from double mastectomy surgery.

Furthermore, McKinsey alleged his wife hit him with a frying pan and once forced him to eat a dead cockroach.

In her protection order request, McKinsey's wife asked the court to keep him away from her, their children, and her parents.

 Jonathan has hurt all of the above listed people physically or emotionally in the past,  she wrote.  He can be vindictive, and I worry he will retaliate against me and the people listed above. 

She claimed McKinsey abused her throughout their marriage, alleging she suffered a fractured vertebra and that he previously struck her mother. She added that in 2021, she slept with a pair of scissors near her bed for protection.

Misdemeanor charges

Dig deeper:

In October, the Alameda County District Attorney's Office charged McKinsey with two misdemeanors for allegedly striking his 6-year-old son in the face and leaving his 2-year-old child alone in a bedroom for more than an hour while he shopping.

McKinsey denied intentionally leaving the child, claiming his wife didn't tell him the sleeping toddler was at the home.

 I firmly believe she did this on purpose to set me up,  he wrote in court documents.

Despite the legal battles, a judge allowed McKinsey to begin unsupervised visits with his children in public settings last month.

Police served a search warrant at the home of McKinsey's wife Tuesday night. Authorities have not disclosed where the children were at the time of the shooting.