Jurors heard entries from Lindsay Clancy's journal describing her anxiety and insomnia in the days and weeks before she killed her three children then tried to kill herself.

 I feel disconnected from myself, time, and reality,  she wrote at one point in the lead up to the deaths.

The journals, found in Clancy's Duxbury home after the killings, were admitted by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as evidence during Clancy's triple murder trial Monday.

State Police Trooper Cory Melo reviewed her journals, including some that tracked her medication, and took the stand to answer questions about it.

Many of the journal entries weren't dated. Others were written between Oct. 13, 2022 and Jan. 18, 2023. The children, Cora, 5, Dawson, 3, and Callan, eight months, were strangled in the basement the night of Jan. 24.

The defense isn't disputing that Clancy did the killings, instead her attorney Kevin Reddington is arguing that she was suffering from postpartum psychosis and isn't criminally responsible for the deaths.

Plymouth Assistant DA Shanan Buckingham only read a few of the entries into the record.

She pointed out a page where Clancy described herself being  obsessed with [Callan's] sleep and nap schedule, like to the minute. 

 I want to die,  Clancy reported telling her then-husband Patrick Clancy when Callan was crying for over an hour and she wasn't able to intervene.

 I'm completely overwhelmed taking care of the three kids, I feel like I'm drowning everyday,  Lindsay Clancy wrote in another entry.

On Nov. 18, she wrote,  It's like I'm so desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone, my mind is trying to make something physically wrong with me. 

Reddington kept Melo on the stand for cross examination to point out many of the other entries that Buckingham left out.

He clarified that Clancy was writing about obsessing over Callan's sleep schedule in the context of needing to sleep train him, which required that she let him cry at night, instead of coaxing him to sleep.

She wrote that the process felt unnatural to her.

But, she tried to reassure herself, the docto

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